Confronting Icing Traditions of Spurious Origin

All praise to the Broseph Stalin, and may the memory of Chet (all props be unto him) enlighten us.

At the annual Brothing, some brojudicators and jurists of high standing in the brommunity raised the issue of several practices now making the rounds among the brothers. These misguided brahs will frequently cite spurious narrations in support of these practices. What distressing times these are, my brothers.

Therefore, the Brothing has bronounced the following perfections incumbent upon every brah, bro, and broseph:

1. to recognize those traditions substantiated by juridical authority and clear chains of narration.
2. to exalt the Collection of Chad Son of Broseph Son of Brah as the Great Unblemished Source, for every tradition therein has a sure and unbroken chain of transmission from Chad back to Chet.
3. to revile any tradition whose chain of narration includes Matt formerly of ΣΝ, who was an accursed liar and never iced uprightly in his poisonous life.

Any bro who rejects these three perfections is not a brother in good standing; nay, he is as accursed as Matt the Despised.

What glory there is in brotherhood, my brahs! Props be unto you, and ice uprightly.